Resignation to the End

5.18.2012

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{2A back to its lifeless state upon our departure}
I made my best efforts to soak in the final days of freshman year, ignoring the fact that I'd be leaving that room, that city, (most of) those people, and the year behind in a matter of days. While the inevitable sadness ensued, it was unlike a typical mourning experience.

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This certain kind of sadness was a by-product of leaving behind an abundance of happiness; it's for this reason that I find this particular sadness so addicting, just as Gotye speaks of in his hit song that is still number one on iTunes, Somebody That I Used to Know--"you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness, like resignation to the end, always the end."

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{freshman year was unique in its novelty--from early morning tailgates to late nights, sneak-ins instead of sneak-outs, and Towers to Sixth Street, everything was a breath of fresh air from the high school routine we had performed four years in a row} 
My mind has been running on rewind for the past month or so now, mulling over the best nights, the longest days, the most random experiences, the surprises, the tears, the laughs that turned into tears and so on. As time quickly passes, the memories that used to be so clearly cemented in my mind are fading into vague blurs.

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{the cluttered state of living in hardin isn't the thing i'll miss the most by any means, but it certainly was a part of its rubbish charm. but, fun fact (and something i already miss): this shower had the best water pressure any of the six of us had ever had.}
But, I have faith the memories that stay with me will remain with me for a lifetime.

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{we came to a consensus that the twinkly lights that framed our room from Christmas on gave 2A a little magic}
I switched back and forth from experiencing sheer bliss while reflecting on this year to sudden pangs of anxiety as I watched it all vanish as, one by one, my friends began to file out, the frames on my shelves came down, and the room we filled with twinkly lights, photographs, hummus, laughter and love slowly reverted back to the empty state we entered it as.

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{the photo collage i framed for all three of us as my parting gift on the last night}
While it's hard to let go (and yes, I'm aware of how melodramatic I'm being), it's time to embark on something new. Like any good vacation, we wouldn't want to overstay our welcome.

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And trust me, Hardin House was adament about our 9am departure and not a minute later, which is made clear in the video above with their phone call to Mary Elizabeth. And yes, they called Kels and I also.

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{the roomies at Halcyon not-so-patiently awaiting our tray of s'mores}
Merl, Kels and I didn't spare a minute we had left in Hardin, spending our last evening going to dinner in North Austin at Sienna, grabbing an interactive s'mores dessert at Halcyon downtown, and staying up to our usual 3am bedtime one last time.

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We made sure to leave our mark for the future residents, just as those before us had done.

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So, while I'm addicted to looking back, I hope that now that I've finally reached the last page of this book (there were many, many tears at its conclusion might I add), I can close it with the satisfaction of knowing I enjoyed it for all it was worth. I also have an assured state of mind that the best is still yet to come. But, I think it's time to put away the books for now and revel in a little relaxation and rejuvenation. I look forward to the much anticipated sequel, due out this August.


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